You are not cheating!

“I know I’m cheating,” she said, “but it’s fun and I like it…”

I looked up from my project, confusion apparent on my face.

“What are you talking about?”  I asked carefully.

“The cards!” she laughed.  “I’m making them from a kit, but I think they’re really cute and I’m happy with how they are turning out.”

“What does that have to do with cheating?” I asked, still confused.

“Well, all the pieces are done and cut out already and all I have to do is assemble them so it’s really like I’m cheating.”


“What I should be doing is designing it from scratch and cutting out all the pieces and then assembling,” she explained.

More silence while I tried very hard to understand.

“Let me see if I understand you,” I said finally.  “You are taking the time to assemble and glue adorable greeting cards to send to your family and friends and you think that’s cheating??”

“Yeeesss..” she hesitated, “because it’s not from scratch…”
Do you ever feel like you are cheating?  Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed for taking what others may perceive as a short cut? Baking a cake from a mix instead of making it from scratch, buying your child’s Halloween costume instead of sewing one, using a store bought pie shell instead of making your own pastry, etc., etc. 

So many women are still struggling with the belief that store bought or pre-made anything is cheating and that if they are not creating everything from scratch it makes them inferior or not as impressive.  I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve heard a woman apologizing for serving something they bought at the store, completely discounting the thousand other things she had done that day or week, like somehow that’s not enough and they also should have been grinding their own flour to make the cake from scratch!

If you find your joy in planing your own wood, grinding your own flour, designing and sewing your wardrobe, creating your personal line of greeting cards, etc., then enjoy every minute of doing it.  But if doing everything from scratch is not what lights you up then can you please cut yourself some slack? Go buy the ‘thing’ and then spend the time you’ve saved to do what truly brings you joy.  Please let go of worrying that you are cheating – if anyone is judging you, they don’t deserve to have you in their life!  You’re not cheating, you are prioritizing your joy and you know I am all about you having more joy. 

Now I’m off to buy some pie shells…

Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash

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