Good, bad or somewhere in between?

In my last newsletter I wrote about rewriting your story and as I create some new stories to experiment with, I’ve been noticing how being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ has played into the stories I currently tell myself.

I need to be a good girl and not rock the boat

I’m a bad person because I am letting a care home look after my Mom

This food is good, that food is bad

Alternative medicine is good, western medicine is bad

The list is long and extends past my own life into the world around me. The divisiveness and polarization that has been deepening for several years now reflects this concept that everything falls into one or the other category.  Add on the pervading belief that one category (good) is more desirable than the other category (bad) and we can’t help but think there are only 2 sides to everything. 

But what about the grey areas?  What about all the things that don’t fit neatly into one of the two acceptable categories?  And then there is the “problem” of what’s good for you might be very bad for someone else.  Nuts, for example, are powerhouses of protein, vitamins and minerals that can be a good, important and nourishing part of your diet but if you have a severe allergy to nuts then nuts are definitely bad for you! 

So, are nuts good or bad?

I find myself continually looking for the right answer, the ‘good’ way to do something, the correct behavior, etc., and lately noticing the fear I have of getting it  ‘wrong’ or being ‘bad.’

In the words of my coach training – this search for the good and the right is an unwinnable game!  Hence my experiments with writing a new story for myself. 

In my new stories, I am moving away from being good/bad, right/wrong and to a more middle ground of being me.  I read a helpful article by Marika Paez Wiesen where she talked about this same issue and now uses the term ‘human’ to describe the place between good/bad, right/wrong. 

Imagine what your life might be like if you removed the good/bad, right/wrong categories from your story!  What might be possible for you?  What could open up in terms of your energy, focus and creativity? 

I feel like joy lives in the grey areas, the middle of the spectrum where life is experienced through curiosity, wonder, experiments and just plain old taking a leap. 

Where might you land if you let go of good/bad and right/wrong?

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