Fuel for a new year

"We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential." ~ Ellen Goodman

When I read this quote I actually feel a sense of relief, a sense that Ellen Goodman is a kindred spirit because I, too, have a different approach to the time honored practice of setting resolutions. 

Have you set New Year’s resolutions? 

If yes, are you keeping them?

If yes, is it easy to keep them or has it been a struggle?

For a very, very long time in my life, I operated from the belief that I needed to be fixed.  I believed that there were many things wrong with me (wasn’t smart, I moved too slow, I was weak and inflexible, didn’t belong, wasn’t wanted, too sensitive… ) and if I could fix these flaws then I could get on with life and be happy.  I used to set New Year’s resolutions, determined that this would be the year that I would finally be smart, accomplished, have rock hard abs and be turning down invitations from all the popular people because I had invitations from even bigger popular people…As the quote above says, I was walking through the rooms of my life only looking at what needed to be fixed.

Sometimes I made it a few months into the year staying true to the resolutions but most of the time I didn’t get past the first few weeks before they faded out and I returned to my usual habits and beliefs.  Every time I looked at my list of resolutions, they quietly reminded me of all the things I believed were wrong with me and any energy or enthusiasm I had to keep trying would die away. 

Finally, one year I got tired of feeling like such a loser and I decided to make a resolution that I was pretty sure I could keep. 

I resolved to eat more chocolate.

This resolution was a game changer!  It made me laugh.  It made me happy.  It made me successful because I had no problem what so ever eating more chocolate!  This experience helped me realize that we have it backwards - that struggle and grinding and forcing and pushing were not the fuel that would get us the life we wanted.  The energy of joy, playfulness, laughter, and delight were the real fuel, the fuel that had longevity and could see you through any challenge you might have to face. 

Since that resolution I have been experimenting with the idea that pursuing our greatest joys is the best use of our energy and focus.  Forget about fixing anything and just do all the big and little things that cultivate joy in your body, heart, mind and spirit. 

What’s the most joy inspired resolution, goal or action you want to set for yourself this year?  Or this season, or this month, or this week….What if all the things you think need to be fixed got resolved on their own while you were off living a joy filled life?  I hope you will give it a try!

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